Horny Toads / Nudie Calendars / Birthday Hail : CDT Blog #3

Halfway! I’ve been counting down the days to the glass being half empty for a while now. 1,500 miles down and 1,500 to go. 2 states, 2 pairs of shoes, 2 months down; 2 of each to go.

Wyoming has been all over the place. From geysers, to mountains, to desert, to a motel employee cleaning the pool offering us meth. (Naturally, we ended up letting him drive us to the bar.) Since we have completed yet another state, it’s that time again…

State Roundup! Wyoming Edition

Best Hiking Section: In my opinion, we have a two way tie between the Wind River Range and the Great Divide Basin. Breathtaking mountains in the Winds and tons of desert wildlife in the Basin including rattlesnakes, horny toads, jack rabbits, and wild horses. Pretty dadgum good state for walkin’ around if you ask me. 4 stars.

Best Trail Town/Bar: 1st place goes to Outlaw Saloon in Dubois for hosting the 2019 Nobo VS. Sobo Games (more info below). A close 2nd place goes to Atlantic City (population 57). It’s home to one bar/restaurant called Miner’s Grubstake. We immediately get in good enough with the owners that they allow us to take over their house next door to the bar for the night. After we settle in and get our laundry spinning, they let us continually order rounds of draft beers to bring over to the house while we watch Dumb & Dumber in La-Z-Boys. The night ends with a local (Bob) buying me the best scotch the bar had out of respect for my jukebox selections.

Now onto the glorious randomness that is… Trail Tidbits!

– One night while I am sleeping, some critter/devil creature decides the PERFECT midnight snack would be my trekking pole handles. I just adore the feeling of the equivalent of potholes for my hands all day.

– Y’all, I finally did it. I’m able to cross a major hitch hiking achievement off of my list… l get a ride into town to resupply in an 18 wheeler. It’s totally illegal for them to do that but he pulls over to check his breaks and admits that he feels sorry for me. It’s everything I want it to be. Metallic purple paint job, beyond comfortable seat, CB radio that I’m able to say “breaker breaker 1-9” into, and a nudie calendar hanging off of the dash. Heaven.

– I witness a tree fall in the woods. Therefore, I am able to confirm the age old question: it does in fact make a sound. The sound equivalent to a grizzly bear climbing out of said tree on a mission to eat you.

– My birthday this year will probably never be replicated again. (Spoiler: I’m perfectly fine with that). It is our first day in Wyoming’s desert (The Great Divide Basin) and it is fairly rare for it to rain there this time of year. Not only does it begin to storm, we get a solid 30 minutes of sideways driving hail (yeah, that frozen version of rain). I resort to turning the bill of my hat sideways to protect my ear that is getting pummeled and damn near beginning to bleed. BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

– As we are waking up at camp one early morning, Boo Boo informs us that “The giardia man struck last night.” This is very, very bad during long distance backpacking. Giaradia is a virus received by drinking out of a bad water source. Any water source can have it and there is no way of telling. It basically causes weeklong severe diarrhea, usually out of both “ends.” We are camping near a privy (outdoor toilet) this night that I’m excited to be able to use in the morning. I ask Boo Boo if I can quickly use it before he might need to utilize it again. He says, “Oh it’s out of commission. Let’s just say I wasn’t quite able to sit down in time during one of my many visits last night…” We find a way out of the wilderness that day to get Boo Boo to a doctor. He had to take a few days off as we walked ahead but we are finally “reunited, and it feels so good.”

– Quick lesson: Sobo = Southbound (Canada to Mexico), Nobo = Northbound (Mexico to Canada). We are Sobos. Since we are halfway at this point, we are crossing paths with our inherent enemies… the Nobos. For most people, this means an opportunity to exchange information of what lies ahead for each other. However, while in Dubois, Wyoming on a day off, this means battle royale. That day, we (8 Sobos) roll into the Outlaw Saloon. We are surprised to find that 8 Nobos had just arrived. It’s a showdown… After some exchanged dirty glances, someone breaks the ice with a round of shots. DJ T-Funk does his part by loading up the jukebox (if they don’t like my music, screw em’). This turns into a full day of dart/pool competitions and just generally finding out who will bow out of the continuous rounds of beers and shots first. Turns out that no-good Nobo crowd isn’t so bad…

– One night, I’m hiking totally alone until after midnight. All of the sudden, I spot two eyes pop up from behind a small mound 50 yards down the trail. This happens often with animals like deer so I don’t think much of it, until something strange happens. I notice the eyes slink down below it’s shoulders and it starts sneakily walking down the trail toward me. I promptly begin sprinting up the side of the mountain through brush yelling like a little girl because I’m convinced that this is a mountain lion and I’m completely alone. Fortunately, my freak-out session frightens it enough for it to retreat up the hill. Unfortunately, the fear doesn’t end here. After I’ve realized that it has run up the mountain, I head back to the trail and skeptically return to walking. I scan the area up to where the cat had run and spot two glowing eyes still stalking me from behind a rock high on the hill. I did everything short of walking down the trail backwards to keep an eye out for my eminent cat attack.

Welp, I reckon that will do it for the time being. Onto what I can only imagine will be the most challenging state of the entire trail; Colorado. As I’ve done previously, this blog’s suggested reading is on the topic of what my every day to to day is like. Check out PCT Blog #5. The main changes that you’ll need to edit between this trail and that one, is that there is absolutely NO time for siestas and we have to up the average daily mileage from 20 to 30 miles.

Thanks for following, troll me by leaving a comment correcting the abundance of grammatical errors, and most importantly… do what you love.

T-FUNK

3 thoughts on “Horny Toads / Nudie Calendars / Birthday Hail : CDT Blog #3

  1. Hey Bud!! That is one of your best blogs ever!! Of course as a mom, I became physically scared while reading about the cat… even though it did not happen today… I am just thankful that it wasn’t too hungry, and probably a little confused! And the 18 wheeler was probably a once in a lifetime chance! Along with everything you are doing everyday! VERY proud of you!! And stay safe!!!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s